2012

It is time to once again consider the New Year’s Resolutions.  From my experience most people are very good at making their list of resolutions, but most of us are not quite as good at keeping these well-intentioned resolutions.  I know that is hard to do, so I have decided that I am going to make some suggestions on changes that one might make in lieu of the dreaded resolutions.

My first suggestion is to make a concerted effort to do something for yourself daily, and at the very least, weekly.  Many people are great at giving to others, which I consider a noble and necessary part of being a member of the human race, but when it comes to doing something for themselves they often fall short.  Make a point this year to try and balance what you do for others with doing some nice things for yourself.  You will be surprised how much better you feel about YOU and this is going to positively impact how you feel about and what you do for others. YOU are important, so treat yourself accordingly.

Next, I want to encourage everyone to find a way to exercise the the body and make it a part of your daily routine.  The body has a limited life expectancy, and if we want to live longer and feel better we need to take care of it.  A daily walk, a trip to the gym, a bike ride on one of the local trails, walking nine holes, or doing some gardening can only make your body feel better.  To put movement into your life is amazingly powerful and once again when YOU feel good people around you will be impacted in ways that you never thought possible.  I know you are all busy, so get creative and find some new and different ways to get in shape.  Once you discover a great way to get moving share this with friends and you might be surprised at the ripple effect.

Train the brain is next on my list of suggestions.  The brain is one of the largest muscles in the body and yet a huge percentage of its power goes under utilized.  You would never think to play a sport seriously and not exercising or doing some serious training.  Why is it that we pay so little attention to training our brain?  Read a book, watch the news carefully, have serious conversations with others, argue once in a while with those who disagree with you.....force your brain to gather information and then put it to use in some way each day.  Once you stop learning you may as well be dead.  No joke!!!!  

Find some way to add love into your life.  These are both everywhere and we are so busy with the things that take up most of our day that we do not give as much attention to either of these as we should.  Give compliments often!  Little recognitions of what people do is really powerful and greatly appreciated.....a tremendous expression of love.   Give a bunch of compliments each day and you may even find that the workplace is more pleasant and a whole lot more gets done.  Love is all about seeing the best in others and then finding a way to let them know that you see their best.  Finding passion in your life is all about love. Use your love of art, gardening, wine, great food, or he family pet to incorporate feeling of love into your daily life.  Don’t forget that people love often gets lost, so pay attention to each and every person that crosses your path.  They need you and you need them.

I know this a lot to digest, so pick one, any one, and give it a shot.  You can and will make 2012 an amazing year not only for yourself, but for all the people that make up the fabric of your life.  Ultimately, I think you will find that once you get in touch with those things that make you happier as a person that your happiness will make its way into the lives of the people you come in contact with each day.

As I complete my list, I too can only hope to accomplish these tasks on at least a semi to regular basis.  It is hard sometimes to do the right thing or say the right thing.  As challenging as these all might be, they are worth the effort........you are worth the effort, and the people that you love are worth the effort as well.

I will keep you updated on my progress.

Happy New Year!!!

The Gift of Life

The holiday season is one of my favorite times of the entire year.  It seems like people are a little nicer and little more forgiving while they enjoy the giving and receiving that takes place during the Christmas season.  Personally, I would much rather give than receive at this point in my life and doing things for others gives me a great deal more satisfaction than getting a gift for myself.

There are many kinds of gifts that you can give these days that generate food, water, books, schools, medical care, and basic necessities for people all over the world who are needy in one way or another.  You can put money in the Salvation Army kettles, work at a soup kitchen, provide gifts for children in the hospital, or do something special for the elderly or handicapped.  These are meaningful and necessary things that improve the quality of life for others while helping us to appreciate what we have and recognizing the importance of the willingness to share.  

My friend Betsy and I have another idea for a gift that we thing is worthy of your consideration.  It does not cost you a thing and yet the impact that this gift may have on many different people and their families is extraordinary and very far reaching.  

The gift that we would like you to consider is the gift of life.  By becoming a tissue and organ donor you can alter the lives of many people.  Your organs, your tissue, your muscles, and your bones can all be harvested when you die to help those in need.  Organs can be transplanted, your skin can be used to help those people who have suffered in a fire or a chemical accident, eyes can be used to restore sight to those who have lost their vision, and by the miracle of modern medicine you can make the lives of many that much better.  What better gift could you give another human being than this amazing gift of life?  

You can sign up for this at the Motor Vehicle Office and get that little red heart on your license.  There are registries everywhere and by spending just a few minutes on line or calling your own Doctor or hospital you can get all the information that you need to begin the process of becoming an organ/tissue donor.  An easy process but amazingly powerful impact will be the result.  

I know that this is a very personal decision.  With all the decisions that you have made already the choices that you make about how you die might be one of the most important.  Talk to a mortician if you are concerned about the final showing and this may help you to make your decision.  Whatever you do, to do this now takes the pressure off your family when so often time is of crucial importance when you pas and decisions have to be made about what needs to be done.   

Betsy is one of my best friends and it took her a while to come to this decision.  I have known for quite a while that this is what I wanted to do.  We both value life, yet we have both decided that even in death that we can make a long lasting difference.  Paying it forward is important and necessary.  We encourage all of you to consider this amazing gift of life, and if you are undecided, at the very least give it some thought.  If you need help in deciding just let us know and we will be glad to offer support and guidance.

Have an amazing holiday season!  

A Wonderful Life....For Real!

I turned 60 today and begin my 6th decade on the planet.  I am amazed by how quickly the time has flown by.  The future looks bright as well as interesting and I am hopeful that I can survive another 4 decades at least.  It would be cool to be recognized on one of those morning talk shows as being someone who has reached the magical age of 100!!!  On a more serious note, birthdays are a great time to reflect back on the year(s) gone by and to count my blessings.

I have seen a lot, done a lot, met tons and tons of amazing people, laughed until my sides hurt, and cried more times that I care to admit.  I have milked a cow, driven a tractor, replaced a transmission in my car,  worked at a summer camp for 12 summers, mowed lawns and painted houses in the summer, sold home theater equipment,   watched both my boys be born, coached lots of folks in many different sports, and spent 33 years as a high school teacher......and this does not even scratch the surface.  I have been married twice, divorced once, had a heart attack, made a lot or mistakes, helped people as often as I could, and did my best to pay attention to the news, politics, and the latest and greatest authors and books.  It has been a great adventure for sure, and even as I look back today I can smile at the things that made life better, and cringe a lot at the things that hurt others.  For this I can do nothing but deeply apologize and chalk it up to making bad choices.  I can hope for forgiveness and pray for strength to not make the same mistake again.  


This past year has been amazing.  My boys and a few friends travelled to Bethpage to play golf and I broke 100 on all three days.....in spite of enjoying a good many of the available sand traps.  I continue to travel all over the place with my friend Armando with some very talented basketball playing girls.  We put a new roof on the house.  I painted the front deck and cleaned out the basement......AKA the Great Divide.  I bought a snow blower and we had an amazing garden.  My diet is heart healthy and I have gone to the gym six days a week for two hours each day religiously.  My son's new house is painted and looks fantastic and they are now settled in like an old married couple.  I worked with my dear friends at Camp Hope.  And as I write our new kitchen is two weeks into a complete makeover.  It has been a great year and the year ahead looks like it might turn out to be another amazing 365 days!

I am a lucky man!!  I had my dream job for 33 years!  Teaching was a blast and I can honestly say that each and every day was enlightening for me.  I am reasonably sure that I learned at least as much from my students as they learned from me.  They were fun to be around and I have many powerful memories that still have a special spot in my memory banks.  I loved my students and enjoyed our time together greatly.  I pray that as I continue to get older that I will be able to draw upon these memories until my last breath.  As I complete my 6th decade I want to thank all my students....you made my life so very gratifying. I am also grateful for teaching colleagues, administrators and fellow coaches for putting up with me and helping me grow and get better at my chosen craft.  You all helped me to make my dream become a reality.  I taught for more than half my life and would do it all over again!

When you have at least one dream job you are fortunate.  When you have two you are blessed.  For 12 summers I worked at CSM and those summers have helped me to see the world differently.  The summer staffs, the people that worked directly with me, and the hundreds of campers who dominated my life for 108 weeks were amazing.  They helped me to become a better man while at the same time supporting me and my family in our times of trials and troubles.  I remember the smell of the lake, the coolness of the chapel early in the morning, the multitude of stars that shown down upon us at night, the sounds of laughter of the young people, and the warmth of the many hugs that we all shared.  I have  made many lifetime friends that I know care about me and would do what they could to help me if I needed it.  My time at dream job number 2 was extraordinary and well as necessary for my growth as a person. 

My family is happy and healthy. My boys both work hard at their jobs.  They are kind to others and make me very proud.  I have added a daughter in law that i adore.  New houses and apartments are part of my life, and each day I thank God for helping my family find its way to serenity and happiness.  My wife is terrific and she helps to make me aware of the importance of second chances.  We are all doing well and for this I am thankful. 

As a look forward to the end of my 6th decade as proceed at warp speed to my 7th I can but smile and make sure that jump out of bed each and every day ready to hit the gym and then do the things that I need or want to do.  The peak of my life has long since passed and I am on the downward slope of the mountain of life.  This is not a bad thing, but a part of God’s plan.  I have never been afraid to die, but by the same token I want nothing more to live for a good many more years.  I want to be sure to utilize the downward portion of the slope.....simply because I remember how difficult climbing UP the slope was.  I loved the challenges that going up required butI would be lying if I said I was not going to enjoy that ride down the hill.  

My adventure continues and I want to thank each and every person who has helped me this far along my journey.  I love you all and hope that our paths will cross again some time soon......at least before Al Roker mentions my name while he does the morning weather on television. 

Occupy (City Name Here)

I have to admit that I am intrigued with the Occupy (Your City Name) movement that has taken over the nation and the world.  The fact that so many thousands of people are willing to live under the stars and brave the weather in the name of what they hope will lead to a better America is amazing and in many ways very inspiring.  

Over the past few weeks I have been watching with interest with the growing numbers of people who are out there doing their thing.  I am am more interested in the great diversity of the protestors.  Young people with few job prospects and thousands in college loans, Baby Boomers who watched their retirement savings disappear with the crash of Wall Street, and elderly people who are upset with health care and money lost while under the watchful eye of Wall Street traders and bankers.  Students, teachers, homemakers, small business owners, retired folks, and people who are just sick and tired of Congressional gridlock and an unemployment rate that grows by the day.

I am a news hound who reads everything and tries to have an understanding of the economics, politics, domestic policy, and foreign policy of this nation.  Jobs and the lack thereof,  political parties that seem to be more concerned about their own party than they are about the state of the nation, leadership that is being questioned by everyone, and 24 hour news programs that use sound bites and of pieces of news that they seem to believe should pass as news dominate our lives.  When you add the political theatrics that make up the election cycle it is easy to understand why people are angry.  The more you know and the more you read or watch the news it would seem to me that our new revolutionaries have a lot to be unhappy about.

Understanding WHY they are distraught is easy.  Trying to get a grip on WHAT they plan to do about their concerns and their grievances is a completely different issue.  When I asked a friend who is participating in my city this very question he answered, We are going to make changes.”  When I pressed him about what specific changes he  reminded me that the Bank Of America, and other banks were rolling back their debit card fees.  He believed that the Occupy (Your City Name) movement was directly responsible for this.  If this is indeed true then I am very thankful for their ability to facilitate change.

I am all for the new revolutionary spirit that has taken over the nation.  Real revolutions have been few are far between in my lifetime and yet revolutions can be to focal point of real and long lasting changes.  Marching in protest, refusing to work, speaking in front of the crowd, writing a list of grievances, writing and singing revolutionary songs, going to jail in the name of the movement or using social media of all sizes and shapes are all important in a revolutionary movement.   Respect and admiration flows from me to each and every person who gives of their time, energy, and spirit to these various movements.  The Occupy (Your City Name) movement is about challenging that which is hurtful to the people and demands that the powers that be get off their dead, uncompromising asses and do what needs to be done to get this nation back on track.  This a great deal harder to do than one would think, but I honestly believe that the squeaky wheel can, and often does, get the grease.  The squeaking is getting louder and louder so keep demanding that you get some relief!!

It is my hope that a leader will emerge to help facilitate their plan for change.  I am confident that their resolve remains strong and that they will stick to their guns even as the winter weather approaches.  People in large numbers have always gotten more done that any single person so as your numbers grow you will have to find a way to make the numbers work for you and help you to get where it is that you have decided that you want to go.   

Don’t allow that 1% to prevent you from pushing forward toward the goals that you believe are worthy of your hard work. 

Continue to insist that the members of the government listen to your concerns and demand for change even when you know that our past experience has taught us that most political types are concerned more with re-election than what they can accomplish when they arrive at the beginning of a new legislative session.  What people say is not nearly as important as what they do!  We all need to be more demanding of those who make decisions in our name, using whatever means we are comfortable with.  If they are not doing what we ask of them then we MUST replace them with new representatives. Our power to vote is crucial to the process.

Do what you do to continue to hold there folks accountable as your elected officials.  They work for you, not the other way around.  Be sure to use your constitutional right to vote, speak your mind, and demand that he status quo is not good enough today, it was not good enough yesterday, and it will never be good enough.  This is true for bankers, wall street people, and those who have much more money than they need or could ever use.  

I respect you, admire you, and support you!

Plasticpalooza!!

Who in the hell invented tupperware anyhow?  I guess to answer my own question I could google it and get the name of this inventor, but I wonder if this creative soul had any idea how this mass of plastic would impact the life of an ordinary household.

We have a lot of these plastic containers in our house and they have brought me personally a goodly share of aggravation.  I am amazed how my plastic collection seems to grow exponentially and yet I cannot imagine when the I last bought any of this stuff at the store. Maybe my wife is buying this stuff and putting it away without my knowledge.  

It has found it way to our fridge, our cupboard, some drawers are filled with it, and I cannot remember that last time that I ran the dishwasher that a large portion of the load did not contain many plastic containers.  I have tried to move some it to the re-cycle graveyard, yet it seems to have more lives than a vampire and it continues to live somewhere in my house.  Too bad......we need more fleece in WNY.

I am aggravated by the fact that when I do use this stuff that I can never seem to find a top that fits.  Even the new color coded stuff leaves me pissing and moaning when I am trying to put away leftovers after dinner.  I push and pull and more often than not I just hope that I eat the leftovers by the next day so that they do not spoil because of a poor “snap top.”   They also seem to fit nowhere in our cupboards or drawers.  Crazy sizes make them impossible to store and equally difficult to maintain.

My primary theory about why I have so much plastic revolves around the possibility that other people who have collected their own stash of tupperware products are secretly doing their best to get rid of theirs by making it ours.  Parties, get togethers, bag lunches, family gatherings, and holidays provide a ton of opportunities to “forget” their plastic.  “Bring it back the next time you see me” is a great way to lose some of this plastic without agonizing about what to do with it.  Some people just flat out leave it wherever they brought it and don’t give a damn where it ends up.....as long as it is not in their house it is all good.  I even have a sneaking suspicion that some people even bring an extra bag of their plastic from home in a grocery bag and just leave it wherever they go.

I guess at the end of the day that there is not a darn thing I can do to deal with the amount of tupperware there is in my house and in the world......except to make sure that I don’t leave any leftovers, and make sure I pay close attention to what my wife brings home from the store.  Just know that the idea of bring some of my tupperware to your house so I can lighten my plastic load is a very interesting strategy.

It Doesn't Cost A Thing

Over the past few weeks I have had a few issues.  Not the kind of life threatening issues that seem to plague a large portion of our culture today.  Just the kind of issues that make life a bit more complicated for me than I am used to.  This particular entry is dedicated to those people who I have had to deal with to resolve my issues. 

Cable people solved one of most concerning problems.  While doing some gardening for my wife in the dusk of the evening, I realized too late that I had cut my cable/internet line in half while getting a good sharp edge on the garden before the winter arrives in full fury.  The woman on the phone was delightful and very helpful.  The appointment was set up for the next morning between 8-12 and my specialist was there and ready to go at 7:45.  He did a great job, was fun to talk to and he he even upgraded my cable box and got me up and running before The View!  He was terrific and it did not cost me a cent!!  The funny thing is that my edging led to yet another buried cable that belonged to my neighbor.  They were there within 24 hours and took care of business with a smile on their face and some pleasant conversation.  I love my cable people!!

I needed some financial information and had to call the financial powers that be.  He was very helpful, informative, and more than willing to answer each and every question I had.  I did not have to get passed around from person to person and it was all resolved in just a few short, but very pleasant minutes. 

Today is my once a week visit to the local diner where I get a bowl of oatmeal and some hot chocolate after my trip to the gym.  I have been going here for at least six months and the same woman waits on me each time.  The oatmeal here is terrific, but most of all I appreciate the attention to detail that my waitress gives to my $4 visit each time.  She always knows what I want and she delivers it with a smile and some causal chat which makes my day.  Today they were all out of oatmeal when I arrived, but she took the time to make some fresh oatmeal for me so I could have “my usual.”  She did not have to do this......I would have been disappointed but not mad.  She did it anyhow and I made sure to let her know how much I appreciated going out of her way to do this for me.  Customer service at its very best!!

I cleaned my basement and ended up with a ton of crap and close to 30 garbage bags filled with stuff that needed to go.  I apologized to my trash collectors, but they merely smiled, said it was all in a days work, and they hauled it all away happily.

Recently I decided I needed to get a real haircut......from a professional.  I have not had one for at least 8 years and it was time to hang up my clippers and give my hair a chance to grow again.  I texted my haircut wizard at 5:00 in the afternoon.  By 7 PM I was in the chair and she was performing her magic while her husband and son waited for her to cook them dinner.  My hair looks like a million bucks and I had the chance to send some quality time with one of my best friends while getting a great haircut.  

I ordered something online the other day and the young man who took care of me was very nice.  He was quick to help me with my selection and with questions that I had about the product.  He even shot me a quick email when we were done.  He made the purchase easy and I was very confident that his help and support helped me to get just what I wanted.  

The bottom line is that it does not cost a thing to be nice!!!  Customer service is something that I value greatly and time and time again I am drawn to those stores or providers with whom I have had a positive experience.  They were nice to me, helpful, supportive, and gave me the impression that they cared about me.  That feels awesome, and you can be sure that I will tell my friends and continue to do business with these kinds of people.

Customer service is hard because so many people are terribly demanding and ready to blame the first person that they get on the phone.  I respect and admire these folks and appreciate what they do for me every day!

And it did not cost them a thing to be nice!  

In Your Debt! Thanks!

Later next week the school where I used to teach is going to kick off another school year.  I spent thirty three years teaching and I remember fondly getting my class lists for the year, getting my room ready, and getting excited to try the new activities that I had worked on over the summer with my students.  Most of all I always looked forward to reacquainting myself with teaching colleagues, both new and old.

Teaching was something that was part of my DNA I think.  From the time I was in fourth grade I was committed to the idea of being a teacher.  My father had been a teacher and I really enjoyed watching him do his work and getting ready to do his thing in the classroom.  He loved it, and so did I.

I guess that I get really tired of reading or hearing about how bad the education system is in the USA.  As soon as the experts start commenting it is not long before they start to hammer away on how bad many teacher are.  They spend little or no time discussing all the time spent by teachers preparing lessons and activities, both during the summer and during the school year. They seem to ignore the fact that even with five years of higher education that teachers pay does not even scratch the surface of what people in the business word make.  Most of the teachers that I knew and worked with were extremely dedicated and cared deeply about the students in the charge.  They worked hard and for the most part I would say that their impact on the students was both immediate and long lasting.  Kids in the country are bright, plugged in, and ready to find their way and to make a difference….no matter what the media experts say!  I know this to be true because I taught lots of great kids who I was amazed by every day.

I had a lot of teachers that I remember from when I was a student.  Some of them were tough on me and demanded more of me than I ever would have demanded of myself, while others were sensitive and made a sincere effort to get to know me all the while providing me with the perfect learning environment.  Like all professions I had a few teachers that I did not feel were very good at their job.  Some were inexperienced while others maybe were not confident in their skills and teaching practices.  In spite of this I can say that just about every one of them worked hard.  ALL of them are stuck in my memory bank and I will be forever indebted to them for all that they gave me from September through June each and every year.  I will be in your debt until the day I die.

I honor teachers everywhere with this blog!  The job they do is an honorable profession and one that has a lifelong impact on hundreds of thousands of students every year.  I am in awe of their creativity, their sensitivity, their willingness to make many sacrifices, and their ability to be teacher, social worker, guidance counselor, coach, and mentor to those people who will be taking care of me in my old age…..I am almost there. 

I have no fear of young people taking care of me!  They will learn, grow, share, and find their way just the way that I did.  And this is at least partly to do with everything that they learned and observed from their teachers.

My hat is off and my heart is thankful for teachers everywhere.  And a special shout out to the ACS faculty and staff!  Have an amazing and memorable year!

I Don't Get It

I don’t get it!

For those of you who missed it, the east coast was blasted by a hurricane/crazy tropical storm this past weekend.  We have a lot of very smart scientific people out there who study this stuff like it is their job, and they all suggested that this event was going to be substantial and the destruction was going to be in the billions.

They were right.  Just ask the people who lost homes and property and the family members who lost one of their own. I think at last count that over forty people died as a result of the storm.  People lost their homes and many of them did not have flood insurance.  Bridges and roads and businesses were lost and we are not even sure how much real damage there was…….at least not yet.  For some people, this damage was not significant enough.

I am no scientist, but I am reasonably sure that this storm lived up to most of the scientific expectations that we heard about for more than a week from all the weather experts.  From what I have been able to see of the results of the storm in New England, upstate NY, and along the Atlantic coast this storm was no joke.

Yet…….I have been reading and seeing people on the news who are complaining that the government and the scientists made too much of this whole event.  People complained that they shut down their businesses for no good reason and others seem to think that this is just another example of the government being too involved in our lives.  Some are upset that they lost tourist money while others are angry that their weekend was upset because of the government insistence that many evacuate. 

We have been here before and if I remember correctly there were tons of complaints that the government did not respond quickly enough and the scientists did not get the information to the masses fast enough so they could get out of the storms way.  We were inundated with 24 hour news reports, blogs, and talking heads who seemed to have nothing better to do than complain about anything and everything related to the storm.  They complained loudly there there was not enough notice.  Not enough government and scientific involvement.

This time the government was ready.  The military was ready.  Governors and mayors were ready.  The powers that be insisted that people move out of the way and prepare for the fury of a major storm all in the name of safety.  Sounds like a great plan to me…even in hindsight.  Yet, people still find cause to complain and bitch.     

I will say it again…..I don’t get it.  The government can’t win.  Scientists can’t win either.  What the heck do people want?  Would they prefer no government/scientific involvement so that they could decide and fend for themselves?  Remember how that worked out for us?

Enough already, unhappy people.  Be thankful that most people survived and that the government had your best interests at heart.  But most of all, just stop all the bitching!  It could have been a whole lot worse! 

You just cannot have it both ways. 

My heart goes out to all who lost homes, property and people as a result of the storm. My thanks go out to those who prepared us for the coming of the storm and for all those who will help to deal with the consequences of this terrible event.

  

Decisions, Decisions

Brilliant, gifted, talented or being deemed a genius are monikers that we think might prevent someone from making bad decisions.  Gifted and talented people can make decisions that are life altering and often affect not only themselves, but those who love them.  Bad choices can even negatively impact the best of us.  With the passing of Amy Winehouse we are once again face to face with the impact of making decisions that can often lead to death.  I do not profess to be an expert on addiction, unless you count too many pairs of sneakers, but I do know that we were all born with brains that allow us to make choices each and every day.  How we live our life each day is a spider web of choices that we make and have to take responsibility for. 

The list of people who have made more than their fair share of bad decisions that had terrible outcomes is probably longer than my arm.  Famous, talented people have had shortened lives as a result of making bad choices forever.  In spite of all these people leaving us way before their time we just don’t seem to learn.  We focus on the sadness of the moment instead of looking at the choices they made to get to this point.

I dare say that I have made my share of questionable decisions, but I have tried to think before I act and have some kind of an appreciation or understanding of how what I do might impact others.   Could I have made choices that included breaking the law, harming others, hurt others in one way or another, or put my body into a physical state that would make death very possible…..sure.

But most of us don't fall into this trap.

I refuse to fall into the media trap of glorifying these once talented people who killed themselves one way or another, and instead would like to encourage people to look more carefully at the lifestyle choices instead of the accomplishments of these people.  The media is a powerful player who might be more useful in this process if they took the time to really focus on the pattern of bad choices that were made and open the discussion as to how we might avoid these types of tragedies.  The idea that these kinds of things are inevitable is ridiculous.     

We need to stop the glorification process and making memorials to these people and instead hold them up as examples of what they really are…….addicts who ingested more bad stuff than their body could stand and they died. 

There is all kind of tabloid writing that talks about the age of “27”.  Lots of talented musicians died on this day and it saddens me that instead of pointing out their accomplishment or talking about their talent, that we need to examine the life choices that they made.  Young people need to lean an appreciation for actions and consequences and what better way to point out some of the horrible consequences that resulted from risky behaviors that resulted in death.  The young gravitate to the famous and the talented and they can learn some valuable lessons from the journey of others that had more than its share of bad choice pitstops.  The age of 27 is not important in this discussion.  Not really.  But if age is a factor then maybe the young are more into risk taking than their elders, so more bad things are bound to happen, so we have to know this as people helpers and help them through this rough age. 

It is my hope that parents, the media, and people who can have an impact with their words and actions that they will begin the serious process of talking what is really important about people like Amy Winehouse……her terrible life choices!  She did not die overnight.  Her death was the result of years of personal abuse that finally ended with a final episode of abusive behavior. 

Bad decisions have the tendency to grow like the proverbial snowball that rolls down the hill. Once it gets going it is virtually impossible to stop until it either runs someone over or crashes into a tree.  

Good decision-making is a skill and all about making good choices that result in positive results.  Think before you speak or act and you might find that you can stop that snowball before it even gets going.  Learn your lessons well and encourage others to think before they choose and we will all be better off.  

  

A Championship Effort

Today I had a great conversation about “a championship effort.”

This particular conversation was about basketball, for the simple reason that we were both working at a high school girls basketball game.  The game was one that saw one team shoot out to a substantial lead in the final game for both teams.  We were chatting about what it takes to overcome daily obstacles and how young people often struggle when they seem to be facing insurmountable odds.  

Now, this got me to thinking.  Having been a coach of many different sports over a good many years I have often seen my teams in a situation that they saw as insurmountable.  Huge deficits that seemed impossible to overcome.  Teams that have been a nemesis for years that we always struggled to beat.  Terrible weather.  Illness or the suspension of a teammate.  Dissention or team drama that makes it difficult to perform.  Individuals who don’t manage to perform up to their level of expertise for whatever reason.  This is true not just in sports, but it is part of the adult world as well.

In the whole scheme of things this whole sports discussion transfers to the daily lives of each and every one of us.  We are all a part of something bigger than ourselves that requires that we do what we do to reach a particular goal or objective.  Each of us must learn to cope with a difficult boss, office relationships that do not always go smoothly, and days or weeks in when things do not go the way we want them to go or help us get to our desired goal.  We have to work hard, practice hard, and play hard when competition presents itself. 

In retrospect, I would have to say that I might suggest to one of may athletes who did not play or perform up to expectations, or who was upset about an outcome that they were probably asking the wrong question.  Instead of discussing excuses and trying to explain why we did not play well , they might have been better served asking themselves if they had given their championship effort. 

So often I am afraid that we get sucked into the world of results instead of focusing more on how much effort we had put forth that particular day.  There are a million and ones ways to make a difference and it seems to me that the best scorer, the best rebounder, the best hitter, runner or swimmer all have days when they do their absolute best to contribute. Often, things that we do might not always measure up when we look at results show up in the daily box score or in the daily memo at work. 

I am positive that that statistics are important to the people who analyze, magnify, and glorify such things.  They believe that stats tell the whole story.  That is their job I guess.  Stats, both good and bad, are a great story but they are ephemeral and NEVER tell the WHOLE story.  Don’t get me wrong, stats do tell a story, but we must remember that that never tell the whole story.  There are so many things for which there are no statistics but absolutely have a huge impact on the outcome or result.  

My message today is for all of us who fall into the statistics and results trap.  It is for each of you who might be sad or bad that today was not your best performance. 

Winning and succeeding are important in our society today.  You know it and I know it too.  We have a lot less winners than we do those who fall short on any given occasion.  There is always ONE champion and everyone else finishes somewhere outside the record books.  I love champions and have always aspired to be one as a teacher and as a coach.  I lost my fair share of sporting events, and some of my students did not make it through my class. .  In spite of all these events that might be deemed failures I can honestly say that I made sure I was prepared each day to do my best, tried to keep my brain and my body fit, and worked and coached with a high level of enthusiasm.  We must find ways to glorify those who always play or work hard yet for one reason or another they never manage to reach the mountaintop.  You will never have a chance to win a championship, win that scholarship, or close that big deal if you do not do all the little things day in and day out to put you in a position to reach for and grab that brass ring. This is championship effort!!   

Be sure to not forget that you cannot possible have your best day every day.  There will be more days when you fail in one way or another than days when you succeed and meet the expectations of coaches, bosses, parents, and even friends.  The fact that you fail is not any where as important as the manner in which you evaluate your EFFORT.  Playing hard and working hard are not something that we generally measure.  Effort is priceless and oftentimes make the difference.  It is instead something that you must measure when you get home and look in the mirror and ask the most important question you will EVER have to ask.  Did you give a championship effort today?

The world of school, work, and even family can also be looked at from the championship effort.  Working hard at what you do and working hard when no one is watching can certainly be part of the effort associated with being the best at what you do. When all is said and done those of us who are committed to the championship type of effort will always be WINNERS.  Never be afraid to smile when you know that you might not have given your best performance, but you gave the kind of effort that champions give every single day.  The mirror should never lie!

By the way……they team that fell behind by a significant margin, came back to close the gap to just a few points!  They did not win the game, but I am positive that their coach is going to chat with them about their championship effort and what it all means for the next time that they play.  I hope they don’t forget to look in the mirror tonight and ask the question.

Be sure you don't forget either!!!

Word Power

I love HBO GO!!  It is the coolest thing ever and gives me pause to be thankful for how far we have come in the world of technology.  I have had the chance to watch and re-watch episodes of Def Poets.  I am blessed.

If you have never had the pleasure of seeing this program you MUST watch each and every episode that you find on your pad as you scour the HBO programming.  You will be glad that you did, and it may even grab your attention in ways that you never thought possible. 

Poetry has always freaked me out.  I have never been very good at understanding what the poets are speaking about.  As I watch these young people share their words I am amazed and impacted by not only the words that they use, but the ways in which they use them.  I am envious…..using worlds in a way to impact others or to get others is a skill and it is a gift and it is something that I wish I were better at.  Maybe it is my age or the fact that I have read a lot more books since high school that I get what message the DEF POETS are trying to send. 

I am reminded how people’s persecution or victimization can give rise to a flurry of words that remind us that they are people too.

I am mindful of how people in crisis, yet who have somehow become invisible, need to have their story told.  They need to nation and the world to be aware that they struggle each and every day to fight back the flood waters, shortages of food, the killing power of disease, or the lack of even a basic education. Single mothers, deadbeat dads, drugs, and war…….and a whole lot more.

I am made aware that things are not as bad as they seem, yet sometimes they are even worse than we could have ever imagined……..yet we have no clue how to overcome these problems.  Child abuse, the growing economic gap between rich and poor,  the abuse of women whose only real sin is that they are women, and the realities of ethnic prejudice and discrimination. 

Politics…..or the lack thereof.  War…..and the need to find a different alternative.  Education….teaching kids how to read, write, and readying them for the future. Death for no reason and unexpected losses that changed us forever.  Making fun of just about everything you can think of.  Demanding that you THINK about the world, nation, state, city, or town that you live in.  The art of a wordsmith is crucial to our understanding of the world.  It may be even more important in getting us to sit up and take notice or even become a Def Poet ourselves.    

I am so impressed with the power of the word.  With the power and perspective of young people, who merely by the nature of their age, have a narrow perspective.  This is not a criticism, but a reality.  They are amazing and I am more and more impressed as I watch each segment over and over again.

We were taught that sticks and stones could break our bones but words could never hurt us.  I am pretty sure that the sticks and stones hurt like hell, but I am POSITIVE that words have hurt me a lot more often than any stick or stone ever did. They have made me feel inferior, hurt me deep down to the core of who and what I am and what I believe in, and affected me in ways that I carry with me to this day.   They have also given me strength when I have needed it and picked me up when I did not feel like getting out of bed.

I have used words too.  I have hurt others, made fun of for no good reason, or attacked what someone else believed in. They told me those words hurt.  I paid attention.  I apologize right here on the World Wide Web to anyone who has been impacted negatively by words that have come out of my mouth.     

I pay homage to those wordsmiths who know how to spin words in such a way to bring tears to my eyes, make me laugh out loud, and make me think about the world in a new and different way.

I honor DEF POETS everywhere and pray that I will meet a few more before I die!

Watch this shit……it is off the hook!!!!!!