I Don't Get It

I don’t get it!

For those of you who missed it, the east coast was blasted by a hurricane/crazy tropical storm this past weekend.  We have a lot of very smart scientific people out there who study this stuff like it is their job, and they all suggested that this event was going to be substantial and the destruction was going to be in the billions.

They were right.  Just ask the people who lost homes and property and the family members who lost one of their own. I think at last count that over forty people died as a result of the storm.  People lost their homes and many of them did not have flood insurance.  Bridges and roads and businesses were lost and we are not even sure how much real damage there was…….at least not yet.  For some people, this damage was not significant enough.

I am no scientist, but I am reasonably sure that this storm lived up to most of the scientific expectations that we heard about for more than a week from all the weather experts.  From what I have been able to see of the results of the storm in New England, upstate NY, and along the Atlantic coast this storm was no joke.

Yet…….I have been reading and seeing people on the news who are complaining that the government and the scientists made too much of this whole event.  People complained that they shut down their businesses for no good reason and others seem to think that this is just another example of the government being too involved in our lives.  Some are upset that they lost tourist money while others are angry that their weekend was upset because of the government insistence that many evacuate. 

We have been here before and if I remember correctly there were tons of complaints that the government did not respond quickly enough and the scientists did not get the information to the masses fast enough so they could get out of the storms way.  We were inundated with 24 hour news reports, blogs, and talking heads who seemed to have nothing better to do than complain about anything and everything related to the storm.  They complained loudly there there was not enough notice.  Not enough government and scientific involvement.

This time the government was ready.  The military was ready.  Governors and mayors were ready.  The powers that be insisted that people move out of the way and prepare for the fury of a major storm all in the name of safety.  Sounds like a great plan to me…even in hindsight.  Yet, people still find cause to complain and bitch.     

I will say it again…..I don’t get it.  The government can’t win.  Scientists can’t win either.  What the heck do people want?  Would they prefer no government/scientific involvement so that they could decide and fend for themselves?  Remember how that worked out for us?

Enough already, unhappy people.  Be thankful that most people survived and that the government had your best interests at heart.  But most of all, just stop all the bitching!  It could have been a whole lot worse! 

You just cannot have it both ways. 

My heart goes out to all who lost homes, property and people as a result of the storm. My thanks go out to those who prepared us for the coming of the storm and for all those who will help to deal with the consequences of this terrible event.

  

Decisions, Decisions

Brilliant, gifted, talented or being deemed a genius are monikers that we think might prevent someone from making bad decisions.  Gifted and talented people can make decisions that are life altering and often affect not only themselves, but those who love them.  Bad choices can even negatively impact the best of us.  With the passing of Amy Winehouse we are once again face to face with the impact of making decisions that can often lead to death.  I do not profess to be an expert on addiction, unless you count too many pairs of sneakers, but I do know that we were all born with brains that allow us to make choices each and every day.  How we live our life each day is a spider web of choices that we make and have to take responsibility for. 

The list of people who have made more than their fair share of bad decisions that had terrible outcomes is probably longer than my arm.  Famous, talented people have had shortened lives as a result of making bad choices forever.  In spite of all these people leaving us way before their time we just don’t seem to learn.  We focus on the sadness of the moment instead of looking at the choices they made to get to this point.

I dare say that I have made my share of questionable decisions, but I have tried to think before I act and have some kind of an appreciation or understanding of how what I do might impact others.   Could I have made choices that included breaking the law, harming others, hurt others in one way or another, or put my body into a physical state that would make death very possible…..sure.

But most of us don't fall into this trap.

I refuse to fall into the media trap of glorifying these once talented people who killed themselves one way or another, and instead would like to encourage people to look more carefully at the lifestyle choices instead of the accomplishments of these people.  The media is a powerful player who might be more useful in this process if they took the time to really focus on the pattern of bad choices that were made and open the discussion as to how we might avoid these types of tragedies.  The idea that these kinds of things are inevitable is ridiculous.     

We need to stop the glorification process and making memorials to these people and instead hold them up as examples of what they really are…….addicts who ingested more bad stuff than their body could stand and they died. 

There is all kind of tabloid writing that talks about the age of “27”.  Lots of talented musicians died on this day and it saddens me that instead of pointing out their accomplishment or talking about their talent, that we need to examine the life choices that they made.  Young people need to lean an appreciation for actions and consequences and what better way to point out some of the horrible consequences that resulted from risky behaviors that resulted in death.  The young gravitate to the famous and the talented and they can learn some valuable lessons from the journey of others that had more than its share of bad choice pitstops.  The age of 27 is not important in this discussion.  Not really.  But if age is a factor then maybe the young are more into risk taking than their elders, so more bad things are bound to happen, so we have to know this as people helpers and help them through this rough age. 

It is my hope that parents, the media, and people who can have an impact with their words and actions that they will begin the serious process of talking what is really important about people like Amy Winehouse……her terrible life choices!  She did not die overnight.  Her death was the result of years of personal abuse that finally ended with a final episode of abusive behavior. 

Bad decisions have the tendency to grow like the proverbial snowball that rolls down the hill. Once it gets going it is virtually impossible to stop until it either runs someone over or crashes into a tree.  

Good decision-making is a skill and all about making good choices that result in positive results.  Think before you speak or act and you might find that you can stop that snowball before it even gets going.  Learn your lessons well and encourage others to think before they choose and we will all be better off.  

  

A Championship Effort

Today I had a great conversation about “a championship effort.”

This particular conversation was about basketball, for the simple reason that we were both working at a high school girls basketball game.  The game was one that saw one team shoot out to a substantial lead in the final game for both teams.  We were chatting about what it takes to overcome daily obstacles and how young people often struggle when they seem to be facing insurmountable odds.  

Now, this got me to thinking.  Having been a coach of many different sports over a good many years I have often seen my teams in a situation that they saw as insurmountable.  Huge deficits that seemed impossible to overcome.  Teams that have been a nemesis for years that we always struggled to beat.  Terrible weather.  Illness or the suspension of a teammate.  Dissention or team drama that makes it difficult to perform.  Individuals who don’t manage to perform up to their level of expertise for whatever reason.  This is true not just in sports, but it is part of the adult world as well.

In the whole scheme of things this whole sports discussion transfers to the daily lives of each and every one of us.  We are all a part of something bigger than ourselves that requires that we do what we do to reach a particular goal or objective.  Each of us must learn to cope with a difficult boss, office relationships that do not always go smoothly, and days or weeks in when things do not go the way we want them to go or help us get to our desired goal.  We have to work hard, practice hard, and play hard when competition presents itself. 

In retrospect, I would have to say that I might suggest to one of may athletes who did not play or perform up to expectations, or who was upset about an outcome that they were probably asking the wrong question.  Instead of discussing excuses and trying to explain why we did not play well , they might have been better served asking themselves if they had given their championship effort. 

So often I am afraid that we get sucked into the world of results instead of focusing more on how much effort we had put forth that particular day.  There are a million and ones ways to make a difference and it seems to me that the best scorer, the best rebounder, the best hitter, runner or swimmer all have days when they do their absolute best to contribute. Often, things that we do might not always measure up when we look at results show up in the daily box score or in the daily memo at work. 

I am positive that that statistics are important to the people who analyze, magnify, and glorify such things.  They believe that stats tell the whole story.  That is their job I guess.  Stats, both good and bad, are a great story but they are ephemeral and NEVER tell the WHOLE story.  Don’t get me wrong, stats do tell a story, but we must remember that that never tell the whole story.  There are so many things for which there are no statistics but absolutely have a huge impact on the outcome or result.  

My message today is for all of us who fall into the statistics and results trap.  It is for each of you who might be sad or bad that today was not your best performance. 

Winning and succeeding are important in our society today.  You know it and I know it too.  We have a lot less winners than we do those who fall short on any given occasion.  There is always ONE champion and everyone else finishes somewhere outside the record books.  I love champions and have always aspired to be one as a teacher and as a coach.  I lost my fair share of sporting events, and some of my students did not make it through my class. .  In spite of all these events that might be deemed failures I can honestly say that I made sure I was prepared each day to do my best, tried to keep my brain and my body fit, and worked and coached with a high level of enthusiasm.  We must find ways to glorify those who always play or work hard yet for one reason or another they never manage to reach the mountaintop.  You will never have a chance to win a championship, win that scholarship, or close that big deal if you do not do all the little things day in and day out to put you in a position to reach for and grab that brass ring. This is championship effort!!   

Be sure to not forget that you cannot possible have your best day every day.  There will be more days when you fail in one way or another than days when you succeed and meet the expectations of coaches, bosses, parents, and even friends.  The fact that you fail is not any where as important as the manner in which you evaluate your EFFORT.  Playing hard and working hard are not something that we generally measure.  Effort is priceless and oftentimes make the difference.  It is instead something that you must measure when you get home and look in the mirror and ask the most important question you will EVER have to ask.  Did you give a championship effort today?

The world of school, work, and even family can also be looked at from the championship effort.  Working hard at what you do and working hard when no one is watching can certainly be part of the effort associated with being the best at what you do. When all is said and done those of us who are committed to the championship type of effort will always be WINNERS.  Never be afraid to smile when you know that you might not have given your best performance, but you gave the kind of effort that champions give every single day.  The mirror should never lie!

By the way……they team that fell behind by a significant margin, came back to close the gap to just a few points!  They did not win the game, but I am positive that their coach is going to chat with them about their championship effort and what it all means for the next time that they play.  I hope they don’t forget to look in the mirror tonight and ask the question.

Be sure you don't forget either!!!

Word Power

I love HBO GO!!  It is the coolest thing ever and gives me pause to be thankful for how far we have come in the world of technology.  I have had the chance to watch and re-watch episodes of Def Poets.  I am blessed.

If you have never had the pleasure of seeing this program you MUST watch each and every episode that you find on your pad as you scour the HBO programming.  You will be glad that you did, and it may even grab your attention in ways that you never thought possible. 

Poetry has always freaked me out.  I have never been very good at understanding what the poets are speaking about.  As I watch these young people share their words I am amazed and impacted by not only the words that they use, but the ways in which they use them.  I am envious…..using worlds in a way to impact others or to get others is a skill and it is a gift and it is something that I wish I were better at.  Maybe it is my age or the fact that I have read a lot more books since high school that I get what message the DEF POETS are trying to send. 

I am reminded how people’s persecution or victimization can give rise to a flurry of words that remind us that they are people too.

I am mindful of how people in crisis, yet who have somehow become invisible, need to have their story told.  They need to nation and the world to be aware that they struggle each and every day to fight back the flood waters, shortages of food, the killing power of disease, or the lack of even a basic education. Single mothers, deadbeat dads, drugs, and war…….and a whole lot more.

I am made aware that things are not as bad as they seem, yet sometimes they are even worse than we could have ever imagined……..yet we have no clue how to overcome these problems.  Child abuse, the growing economic gap between rich and poor,  the abuse of women whose only real sin is that they are women, and the realities of ethnic prejudice and discrimination. 

Politics…..or the lack thereof.  War…..and the need to find a different alternative.  Education….teaching kids how to read, write, and readying them for the future. Death for no reason and unexpected losses that changed us forever.  Making fun of just about everything you can think of.  Demanding that you THINK about the world, nation, state, city, or town that you live in.  The art of a wordsmith is crucial to our understanding of the world.  It may be even more important in getting us to sit up and take notice or even become a Def Poet ourselves.    

I am so impressed with the power of the word.  With the power and perspective of young people, who merely by the nature of their age, have a narrow perspective.  This is not a criticism, but a reality.  They are amazing and I am more and more impressed as I watch each segment over and over again.

We were taught that sticks and stones could break our bones but words could never hurt us.  I am pretty sure that the sticks and stones hurt like hell, but I am POSITIVE that words have hurt me a lot more often than any stick or stone ever did. They have made me feel inferior, hurt me deep down to the core of who and what I am and what I believe in, and affected me in ways that I carry with me to this day.   They have also given me strength when I have needed it and picked me up when I did not feel like getting out of bed.

I have used words too.  I have hurt others, made fun of for no good reason, or attacked what someone else believed in. They told me those words hurt.  I paid attention.  I apologize right here on the World Wide Web to anyone who has been impacted negatively by words that have come out of my mouth.     

I pay homage to those wordsmiths who know how to spin words in such a way to bring tears to my eyes, make me laugh out loud, and make me think about the world in a new and different way.

I honor DEF POETS everywhere and pray that I will meet a few more before I die!

Watch this shit……it is off the hook!!!!!!

Cleaning the Great Divide

I am usually hopeful that my wife goes horseback riding each Saturday, leaving me to do whatever it is that I do or don’t do.  There is no pressure to wash windows, dust, or carry out some other chore that has somehow made it on to her list of things that need doing when she is off riding a horse.

Yesterday I was unable to escape.  Her riding plans fell through and when we rode home from the gym she made it clear to me that today was the day that we were going to get all the old technology out of the basement and get it to Best Buy so that it could be recycled. 

Spider webs and dust flew everywhere as I searched the ‘Great Divide” (our back basement) for old monitors, computers, printers, keyboards, and a snake’s nest of cables.  At the end of the search I found three computers, a very old laptop, a fat old CRT, and a printer.  I dragged them up the stairs and into my car for the short trip to Best Buy.  The Best Buy experience was painless and a lot of fun as I caught up with people I used to work with.  They removed all the old hard drives and within an hour we were out the door and on the way home.  We brought the hard drives home and did as we were told.  We smashed them all with a hammer and put them in the garbage. 

The ride home was where it all began.  My wife and I started talking about all the money that we had spent over the years on technology.  Interestingly enough, before too long the conversation led to what kinds of things we had been able to do with the help of computers.  We even talked about the first time that we actually used this new technology.  For me it was when I had to write my annulment after my divorce.  I borrowed a computer from school, had the phone number of the computer teacher in my pocket and a million questions to answer from the church.  It was not pretty, but 35 pages later I had answered all the questions.  Not only was my annulment approved, but I began a new and life long relationship.…..with computers.   No more printing or writing things out by hand for me!

Computers, printers, modems, floppy disks, and a whole lot of other technology has made its way into my life since back in the early 90’s.  I have also had my share of blue screen crashes and computer issues that could only be resolved by asking my genius next door neighbor to help me at all times of day and night.  For him I will always be grateful.  His love of Windows machines was lost on me as I gravitated to Macs, and I can say for sure I will NEVER go back.   It has all been a great journey that has both peaks and valleys.  It has also made a huge impact on not just my bank account, but my knowledge of the world and my ability to stay in touch, even in the smallest ways, with people who have helped to create the fabric of my life.  

The internet, e mail, Facebook, itunes, iphoto, the App Store, ebooks, my iphone, ipad and imac, and new stuff like Lion and iOS 5 are on the horizon…….I am also confident that throughout the rest of my lifetime that there will be even more new stuff that I can’t live without. 

Technology made it way into my life grudgingly, for sure.  It was expensive when money was not as plentiful as it is today, it was difficult to understand, and yet it enhanced my creativity and gave me the power to be better at my chosen profession, while exposing me to more information that I could have ever uncovered in traditional ways…..all from the comfort of my desk in the basement…….the part that is NOT The Great Divide.

I want to thank my wife for allowing me to walk down memory lane yesterday!   I found that thinking about where I have come from technologically to where I am today is an important part of my life’s journey.  Interestingly enough I am pretty sure that over the years that we have spent well over $25,000 on technology and yet I do not regret having spent not even a single cent.  My relationship with technology has evolved and I am a better man for it. My wife has stood by me though it all and I would dare say that she was my first and best teacher.  

The most important lesson I have learned is that I need to get rid of old technology as soon as I pick up the new technology.  The Great Divide needs a break!

What A Weekend!

I went to a wedding over the weekend.  In the course of my lifetime I have been to many weddings, but this one was special.  One of my sons got married!

It was a terrific weekend and in the whole scheme of things it was one of the better times I have had in a long time.  The rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, golf in the morning, and a beautiful lakeside wedding followed by a very entertaining reception at an extraordinary venue made it a terrific weekend. It was a lovely wedding.

Not being much of a dancer, much to my wife’s chagrin,  gave me plenty of opportunity to people watch and to be amazed by the people who had gathered to help Adam and Julie celebrate their very special day.  I chatted with people I have not seen in a while, and had the chance to meet some new people who are part of the couple’s life together in Boston.  I am fortunate to have such a great friends.

High school friends, co-workers, college friends, and family were all represented at the wedding festival and this multi-faceted gathering of people who came to celebrate with the bride and groom were extraordinary.  I was amazed by the amount of love that was in that room. Each person came with love in their heart for the bride and groom. 

People told funny stories, laughter could be heard throughout the room, and there were hugs all around.  It was obvious to me that Adam and Julie have an amazing web of love that surrounds them as they begin this new and exciting journey.  The friends that gathered all seemed to one important thing is common…..they all loved Julie and Adam.

I am by nature a very emotional person, and I have to admit that I shed my share of tears.  They were tears of great joy and deep and abiding love for my boy and his new wife.  Julie is an extraordinary young woman who complements Adam very well.  They make an amazing couple when you add their gifts and talents up and add the title of husband and wife.  Adam is a terrific young man who has traveled far and wide in search of the perfect mate.  Their coming together is a story in itself and yet it is not as important as what they have already created as a couple.  They make me very proud and I get the chance to love them both as a couple from this point forward.

I am very thankful for all the people who came a great distance to be a part of the wedding experience!  It is difficult to travel so far and yet people came from far and wide to be a part of Adam and Julie’s very special day.  It says a lot to me about the amount of love that they have spread wherever they have been!  The days that come next will be filled with more of the same I am quite sure. 

I had a great time and I am thankful for what I have been given.  A new daughter and a grown up son who loves his wife more than anything.  

Seals Rock!

Believe it or not,  I find that the most difficult think about blogging is deciding what the heck to write about.  For the past few weeks I have agonized about what I wanted to commit to the world wide web, but came up blank.  It is so much easier to bitch and complain about life, friends, the cost of gas or the incompetence of politicians at every level of government.  I really have aspired to write about uplifting things and today is one of those moments……

Osama Bin Laden is dead! The world is now a better place to live.  Justice has been served for the thousands of people who have died at the hands of this man’s organization.  Hiding is plain sight always seems like a good plan, but in this case it served our purposes perfectly.  He was right where we needed him to be and our mission was a terrific success!   It is my hope that this will bring at least some sense of justice and closure to those families who were impacted by this crazy man’s attempts to destroy the world.  What happened that fateful day in September will NEVER be forgotten, nor will the people who lost their lives at the hands of a madman’s henchmen!

I would like to dedicate this blog to the men and women of our armed forces who garnered the necessary intelligence to get the ball rolling, practice how they were going to take the mansion down, and the carrying out the mission in the dead of night, killing the bad guys while not sustaining even a single casualty.  My admiration for all the people, from the President on down who made this happen is great, and I am thankful that the mission to find and destroy Bin Laden did not end with a change in the national leadership.  It gives me great comfort knowing that there are people out there, who have fought for our nation in the past and are continuing to fight for our nation in the present in the name to democracy and freedom.  Commanders in Chief, military leaders and Seals on the ground I thank you for your dedication to the task of finding and killing a very bad man. 

The US has its issues.  Being who we are I can only guess that as some issues are resolved that new ones will arise.  Our commitment to free speech will allow for all of us to speak our minds about where we stand and before you know it we will find a solution, politics not withstanding.   Soldiers allow for this to happen.  Always have and always will. 

Today is a day for all Americans to rejoice in the system that we have created over time and to rejoice yet again for all the fighting men and women who put their lives on the line under very difficult circumstances to guarantee that we can go to bed at night knowing that our backs are covered.

I have always been proud to be American, but today is special.  Today’s events demonstrate the willingness of Americans to go the extra mile to reach the mountaintop and to achieve what seemed to be unachievable!  This is who we are!